


Nightmares

by RainyMonday



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Paralyzed Selina, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 13:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20565002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainyMonday/pseuds/RainyMonday
Summary: Even years after being shot by Jeremiah, Selina still has nightmares.Bruce is there to calm her.





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Another work that I have written ages ago but couldn't publish because I had no title.  
It's the first time I wrote Bruce/Selina so I hope the Dynamics are alright.  
This is set two years after Jeremiah shoots Selina in the ending of S4 and was written before S5 was released so none of that probably happened.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

It’s two in the morning when Selina startles awake. In the first moment, her body is on fire and then there’s just nothing and the feeling of numbness is what really makes her scared.

She knows it’s a dream, its’ her imagination forcing her to go through that one moment again and again. Yet she can do nothing to stop the panic rising in her chest. She bends forward, her hands covering her face while she tries to breath, tries to calm herself down.

The pain is still present, making her stomach drop and ache, sending waves through her body. She feels the gun wound every day, the phantom of being shot. Its like a ghost hunting her, a bad dream she can’t get rid of it. When she closes her eyes, she can still see the blood, hot and red and all over her. She feels like she needs to vomit, coughs and that’s when Bruce wakes up too.

He’s not a heavy sleeper and Selina is torn between relief and shame when arms wrap around her to hold her close after yet another nightmare. She hates Bruce seeing her like this, hates that she is still hunted by this damn dream, can’t let go. It’s weakness. She doesn’t want to appear weak.  
But Bruce is helping, he is calm and soothing and just there. She knows he understands her, feels her and when he tells her it will be alright, she believes him. It helps Selina steady her breath.

“Another nightmare?”, Bruce asks even though he knows it is. He wants her to talk, to come back to the reality were she’s not bleeding on the ground but in a warm bed, safe.

“Yes”, Selina’s voice is shaky. She squirms a bit, feels that her curls stick to her damp skin. She knows it’s sweat but for a moment it feels like blood and she is there again.

“Look at me”, Bruce’s voice is soft and she complies, facing him. He is smiling but Selina can see that beneath is concern and cold fury. He hugs her tighter and she leans into the touch because she doesn’t want to be alone, doesn’t want to remember.

“It’s okay. We’re here. You’re okay.”, he guides her hand down to where the scar is, and she feels the hated rough skin against her hands and knows that the wound is healed, that the blood is just an illusion and everything has happened a long time ago.

“It won’t go away”, Selina hears herself say and only then she realizes that she is sobbing, that she had probably cried the whole time. Her cheeks feel wet, but they always do after a nightmare.

“I know”, Bruce murmurs in her hair, “I know”  
Again, Selina feels how Bruce truly understands her. She is sure that he has nightmares too, that he has simply suffers through another form of trauma as well. All of them have. It makes things better and worse at the same time.

“I wish it would just go away, if I could forget…”, her voice breaks down and the scar begins to ache again just because she thinks about it, about being shot, about being happy and then lying on the floor bleeding.

She dearly wants to rid her memory of every second, she deeply wishes she could just pretend. Pretend that she can’t walk anymore because she had an accident, that not walking anymore isn’t a cruel punishment for being close to Bruce. But it is. She has to think about it every time she looks at him and maybe that’s the real thing she’s scared of, the real hurt Jeremiah had inflicted. She still loves Bruce, loves him even more maybe, but there always is that thought in the back of her head like poison slowly infecting her.  
She’d been shot because of him.

“It doesn’t matter to me”, Bruce tilts her chin up and his lips are on hers, nothing more than a soft touch, a quick sharing of breath. He’s not lying, yet it matters to Selina. She misses walking, graves to run, to climb, to jump from one building to another. It feels like a part of her had been taken away on that day two years ago.

“I miss being me every day”, she manages to say and even thought the blood is still rushing in her ears, her breath is too fast and too hot, she slowly clams down.

“You’re still you”, Bruce places a kiss on the corner of her mouth and then another on the other corner.

“I know”, she sights and leans back against him, her head resting against his chest, “but it hurts regardless.”  
She reaches for Bruce’s hand now, intertwining their fingers. “Do you think it will be alright again?”

She can’t see his face, but she is sure Bruce is raising his eyebrows on that question.  
“Your legs or your mind?”, he asks and she manages to smile a little. He does too, she can feel it.

“Both”, the sound coming out of her is almost a chuckle.

They both know how frustrating therapy is, how much Selina hates it on some days and how she at one point just starts cursing and screaming because her legs are numb and not responding at all. Nevertheless, there are good days when Selina somehow wiggles her toes. These days feel like wonder, they are hopeful and beautiful and most of the time, they end up in the kitchen, stealing cake or sweets from Alfred’s supply to celebrate every tiny progress she makes.

It’s not certain she will walk again, Selina is aware of that, but it’s also not certain she will stay paralyzed forever. Jeremiah’s aim had been good but not good enough.  
When she thinks about it this way, the scar isn’t as terrifying. Every time she manages to move a toe or felt a tingle in her legs, she imagines herself beating the shit out of this madman, sees herself running through the streets again.

She squeezes Bruce’s hand to show him that she’s getting better and he puts and arm around her.  
“You are the most stubborn, most resilient person I know”, his lips are close to Selina’s ears, “if there’s somebody who can do this, it’s you”

“I know”, this time her chuckle his real, “thanks for calling me stubborn by the way”

“Your stubbornness is definitively my favorite character trait on you”, Bruce answers and Selina gives him a dig with her elbow.

“As soon as I’m able to walk again…”, she threatens and it feels good to think about it this way, hopeful, not scared. She’s not sure if it will make the nightmares go away but at least she can imagine Jeremiah’s face when they meet again and she’ll be walking straight up to him, letting her fists collide with his face. She is really looking forward to this moment.

And as long as Bruce is there, helping her through rough nights like this, she knows she’ll make it. One way or another.


End file.
